you know how sometimes we are pushed into our steps vs taking the steps on our own accord? well, this is one of those times. I, along with many of my friends, have recently gone through a break up of sorts. our church home, through the moving of the Holy Spirit, has closed its doors. although this is a very sad time, it’s exciting in its own right because when you’re a part of the Spirit moving, excitement is a natural byproduct!
the Lord has been working in my heart as to where I will worship in this next season. as He prompts, I’m starting to see purpose for the doors closing as it pertains to me. I had become cozy. comfortable in a setting where I knew I’d be loved, accepted and quite possibly respected. this is not a bad thing! but I believe I had become secluded. wandering in the desert too long. at TCM (the church spoken of here), He was preparing me for more. strengthening me to move and pruning me for “such a time as this.” the teaching I was under filled my being and served as nourishment for my soul but now, the proverbial cord has been cut.
where will I land? with confidence I say NOT in a place where I’ll be completely loved. NOT in a place where I’ll be fully accepted. NOT in a place where I’ll be respected for my life’s journey. why would I do such a thing? because the next logical step for me, is to allow “main stream” church to see how the Holy Spirit lives in me! a gay Christian, who is not ashamed to admit this is who God made me to be and I am not inferior to anyone who thinks differently! I am just one person, but how will they know if I continue to seclude myself?
For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14 NIV)
not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:25 NIV)