i am #notanoxymoron

consider my switch flipped. let me explain:
some years ago the Lord started me on a particular path in my journey. to put it quite simply, my faith was questioned.
at times like these, we have two choices: turn our back on God or dive deeper into our faith. it is with a joyful heart I can say He helped me dive deeper into my relationship with Him! I could no longer turn a blind eye to this path. the choice was clear: get to steppin’!

already feeling defeated, depleted and downright scared, from just the decision to finally take a peek down this path, I stepped. it was my faith I had to choose in this moment not my sexuality (I never had a choice there)

at the onset, the Lord revealed 2 things to me:
1) I was not going through this for my sake only
2) God did not carry me through my 18 year marriage, and subsequent divorce, to be silent about this topic. I will make a difference for Him and for His glory!

the Topic: can one be a Christian and gay?

I will save you all the minute details (for now) but it is with great confidence I answer YES! my journey has been tough but through it ALL God has remained faithful. He NEVER left me!
if that’s not enough (and it wasn’t for me) I’ve spoken to countless individuals along the way. asking them how they knew their being homosexual was “ok in God’s eyes?” most shared with me the moment He clearly revealed it to them. and I started praying for my own [switch flipping] moment.
as I worked my way through the weeds, I used to describe myself as being on a dimmer switch. slowly creeping up with some days of doubt, knocking me down a little. but no more! the switch is now thrown! and I give God all the glory as I am thankful for every up and down. I’m not naive to the fact that I will receive opposition (and that my journey and outcome will not be the same as the next person’s) but if there is one thing I know: He will ALWAYS be with me and will guide my steps no matter what anyone else thinks!
my switch flipping verse:

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” ✅ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, ✅ you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. (‭Romans‬ ‭10‬:‭9-10‬ NIV)

how many times have I read that verse? (too many to count) … He wanted me to see it in this way, in this moment, in this time! He did not bring me all this way to be silent!

I am not an oxymoron! I am a gay Christian and thankful for it!

see also:
No Debate Here


4 thoughts on “i am #notanoxymoron

  1. About 30 years ago, my mother lamented the switching of the word “gay” from the meaning she knew — joyful – to the contemporary definition – homosexual. Today, when I read your blog, I thought of her, and of how satisfied she would have been to see you be comfortable in your own gay (new definition) shoes and so gay (old) in your faith. I love you, Nicole. No matter what. And so does Jesus. You are my daily inspiration.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My dearest friend, let me just simple say I love you. I know what a long and difficult road of self discovery this has been for you, but you have always handled it with such love and grace. You have sought the Lord on every topic, detail and trial along the way. No one has prayed, researched and prayed some more about this topic then you. You amaze me. Continue to let Him light your way. I am blessed to know you, love you and call you my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is brilliant, and your walk encourages me EVERY day, along with most of our friends. I am a Christian mother of a Gay Christian Child and she is not an Oxymoron.

    I need to study this so much more. I am getting serious push back from some long time friends, and I need to be able to defend my position of her faith as much as I can my own.

    I love you and I am just one of the reasons you can have faith, that God is using you in GREAT ways!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: No Debate Here | #dailyisallilivefor

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